Lessons from Driftwood


Ever tried holding sand in your hand? At first, it feels steady, something solid that can be held onto. Then, slowly, it starts slipping away—grain by grain. The harder the grip, the faster it falls.

Life can feel like that. Things shift, whether wanted or not. Sometimes, change is loud and impossible to miss. More often, it’s subtle. Like erosion, gradual and steady, pulling away until, one day, everything looks and feels different.

This kind of change touches everyone. A role that once defined everything starts to fade. A routine that once provided structure no longer fits. Even the version of yourself that once felt solid begins to feel distant. The ground doesn’t disappear all at once. It crumbles, piece by piece, leaving you to figure out how to stand on something entirely new.

Adapting isn’t about holding on tighter to what is slipping away. It is about learning to move in a new way. Disability, chronic illness, and unexpected detours in life all push for this kind of shift.

There is no going back to what was. Yet there’s also no stopping what comes next. Sometimes, that next thing turns out to be more valuable—more fulfilling or meaningful in the moment—than what’s been left behind.

At the heart of Driftwood, there’s a tree—strong, rooted, steady by the river’s edge. It represents stability, something unshakable. Yet, even the most solid ground doesn’t stay firm forever. Over time, it begins to shift. Storms roll in, and the roots start to weaken. The fall doesn’t happen suddenly or violently. It unfolds gradually, piece by piece, a quiet collapse. Eventually, the river claims it.

Adapting to change is never easy, and sometimes, it is not about holding on. It’s about letting go and learning to move in a new direction. The shift can be subtle, like erosion, slowly pulling away until everything feels different. This concept is reflected in the poem, Driftwood.


Driftwood

By Kerry Ann Wiley

Tall once on the river’s edge,
Roots knotted deep in earth’s steady pledge.
The soil whispered promises it could not keep,
Chipped away by waters that refused to sleep.

Bit by bit, the ground gave way,
A quiet erosion, day by day.
Currents laughed, their song so benign,
Until the pull unraveled what once was mine.

Storms tore branches, splintered the core,
Winds howled, rains claimed more and more.
The weight of time began to press,
A slow collapse into nothingness.

Fallen, silent, into the stream,
The river carried what remained of the dream.
A fragment, a remnant, floating free,
A piece of what was meant to be.

Yet the drift is not an end at all;
The waves reshape what storms let fall.
Every scar speaks of battles survived,
Each grain a mark of having thrived.

Some see ruin, a form undone,
A fractured shell beneath the sun.
But others find beauty in battered lines,
The art of endurance through endless tides.

The river asks nothing of what remains,
Only to dance through its shifting veins.
Not whole, not broken—just set adrift,
A soul transformed by the water’s gift.

The river pressed close, whispering low,
Soft at first, then unrelenting.
What held firm began to loosen,
A quiet surrender to the constant pull.

The ground beneath was once a promise,
Rich, steady, full of weight.
But promises thin under patient hands,
Eroding grain by grain,
Until there is nothing left to hold.

Storms tore through with a cruel precision,
Branches snapped, torn free without apology.
The air grew heavy with each breath of wind,
And even the strongest roots began to fray.

Time leaned heavy on aging bark,
Not in leaps, but in whispers.
The weight of years became the final blow,
And what stood tall finally gave way.

What remains drifts through restless waters,
Not as it was, but not erased.
The shape is different, yet still alive,
Carved anew by hands unseen.

Some would see ruin in the splinters,
A story of what was lost.
But there is beauty in the softened edges,
In the way even broken wood floats.

The river asks no questions of the fallen,
Only carries it onward,
A silent witness to the unmaking
And the quiet, endless becoming.


The poem starts with collapse. The poem opens with a tree’s gradual decline. Once strong, it is slowly worn down by time, water, and storms. This erosion feels inevitable, happening slowly as its roots and structure steadily weaken.

Ultimately, the weight of time becomes undeniable. Pressure builds steadily, leaving little room for resistance. In the end, the tree can no longer hold its ground and gives way.

Yet, the story doesn’t end there. The driftwood—the remnants of the tree—doesn’t disappear. Instead, the river carries it forward, reshaping its form. Splinters, softened edges, and scars all tell a story of survival. What is left is different, but it’s still alive. Still moving.

The poem doesn’t pretend the driftwood is whole. It bears the marks of everything it has endured. These marks are part of its character. “Each grain a mark of having been.” The scars don’t lessen the value of what remains. Instead, they add to it. The poem highlights that the driftwood’s imperfections enhance its beauty, reflecting its journey through change.

Interestingly, the river doesn’t demand anything from the driftwood. It simply carries it forward, allowing it to stay as it is. There’s no effort to change its shape or return it to its original form. The poem shows how the river lets the driftwood exist in its new state, embracing the natural changes without trying to fix what was lost.

This is where the poem feels raw and real. It doesn’t push a story of recovery or a return to the past. Instead, it lets the driftwood exist in its new form. Different, but not less. That’s the lesson. Adapting isn’t about rebuilding what is lost. It is about creating something new from what remains. Driftwood isn’t less than the tree—it simply changes. Its different form holds its own significance.

The line, “Not whole, not broken—just set adrift,” reflects a deeper reality. Life isn’t black and white. It is not about being completely intact or entirely falling apart. Instead, it’s about the spaces in between. The driftwood continues to float. It bears its scars, yet it moves forward.

The poem explores how small, gradual shifts can shape who or what someone becomes. Like driftwood that keeps moving forward despite its marks, experiences leave their impressions while creating new paths. With everything always shifting, a question comes to mind: How can the past be honored while moving toward what’s next?

A House That Fits: Where Accessibility Opens Every Door

People with disabilities, one of the world’s largest population groups, often face significant challenges in finding housing that is both accessible and affordable (Cho et al., 2016; Louin et al., 2021).

According to the United Nations Flagship Report on Disability and Sustainable Development Goals, housing for people with disabilities is a critical focus area for the coming decade (United Nations, 2018). Yet finding an accessible home can feel impossible—something I learned firsthand.

In 1994, I set out to find a home with clear priorities in mind: a single-story house that was practical, easy to maintain, and close to work. Public transportation was essential, so proximity to a bus line was non-negotiable. Most importantly, I needed a space that would not only meet my current needs but could adapt as my needs changed over time.

As I started looking at houses my optimism about finding a home that met my needs didn’t last long. Every house I toured had its own set of obstacles. One had steep stairs at the entrance. Although I could manage them then, I couldn’t help but worry about how they might pose a problem in the future.

Another had charm, but the doorways were so narrow that using walking poles or a mobility device would have been next to impossible. It drove home a sobering reality: truly accessible homes were nearly nonexistent. Finding one that checked all my boxes started to feel completely out of reach.

That’s when I realized it wasn’t about perfection—it was about potential. A home could be adapted with a few thoughtful tweaks, and that mindset shift changed everything. Accessibility doesn’t end when you sign the lease or close on a purchase; it’s an ongoing process grounded in creativity and practicality.

In fact, research shows that small, evidence-based changes can significantly boost a home’s safety and functionality for people with with disabilities (Campani et al., 2021; Imrie, 2018). These aren’t just theoretical fixes—I’ve put them into practice in my own home to make it truly work for me.

Lessons Learned: Functionality Over Perfection

Entrances and Doorways

The first challenge is often the entrance. I remember touring a house that seemed ideal, except for a single uneven step leading to the front door. At the time, it felt like a dealbreaker. Later, I discovered that portable threshold ramps could solve this issue quickly and affordably without requiring permanent modifications (Atlas Home Safety, n.d.).

Narrow doorways are another common problem but can often be addressed by installing swing-clear hinges, which increase clearance by up to two inches. In homes where that isn’t enough, removing non-essential doors entirely can open up tight spaces further and improve mobility (Imrie, 2018; Ratnayake et al., 2022).

Flooring

Flooring can be a surprising obstacle, especially when transitions between materials create tripping hazards. One home I toured had mismatched flooring that felt risky to navigate. The potential solution was simple: beveled transition strips that provide a smooth bridge between different surfaces, making movement safer and easier (Imrie, 2018).

Loose rugs or carpets are another hazard but can be secured with non-slip pads or double-sided tape to prevent slipping (Campani et al., 2021).

Kitchens

Kitchens often require bending, reaching, and navigating tight spaces, making them one of the most challenging areas to adapt. Several homes I viewed had deep cabinets and high shelves that felt entirely out of reach. However, I discovered a few straightforward solutions:

  • Reorganizing cabinets so frequently used items are within easy reach.
  • Adding pull-out shelves or lazy susans to improve access to deep cabinets (Ratnayake et al., 2022).
  • Incorporating a rolling cart as a potential mobile workstation for meal prep or transporting items between rooms.

These small changes make a big difference in creating a functional space.

Bathrooms

Bathrooms often present the biggest accessibility challenges, but even a few minor adjustments can transform them into safer, more usable spaces. For instance:

  • Suction grab bars provide stability near toilets or in showers without requiring permanent installation (Campani et al., 2021).
  • Portable shower benches allow for seated bathing, reducing strain and increasing safety.
  • Handheld showerheads with extended hoses offer flexibility and make bathing easier (Ratnayake et al., 2022).

These tools create an environment that prioritizes both safety and independence.

Living Areas

Living rooms often contain subtle obstacles that go unnoticed at first glance. One home I toured had a layout that felt cramped, with furniture creating narrow pathways that were difficult to navigate. Rearranging furniture to create clear walkways, ideally at least 36 inches wide, made the space far more accessible.

For additional support, furniture risers can elevate chairs and couches, making it easier to sit or stand without discomfort (Campani et al., 2021; Imrie, 2018).

Bedrooms

Bedrooms can also benefit from simple but effective accessibility upgrades. For instance, clamp-on bedside grab bars offer added stability when getting in and out of bed, reducing the risk of falls (Ratnayake et al., 2022). Similarly, adjustable bed tables provide a versatile surface for reading, eating, or working (Steinfeld & Maisel, 2012).

Lighting and Smart Home Technology

Lighting is an often-overlooked factor in accessibility. I learned how motion-sensor LED lights can illuminate dark hallways or closets, reducing the risk of trips and falls (Campani et al., 2021).

Adding smart home technology, like voice-activated assistants and smart plugs, allows for control over lighting, and other devices with minimal effort. These tools enhance convenience while supporting greater independence.

Embracing Imperfection: Creating a Home That Works

The perfect home never materialized in 1994. Instead, what I found was a house with potential. With a little creativity and care, it gradually transformed into a home that truly worked.

A great home doesn’t have to be perfect—it simply needs to evolve alongside the people who live in it. With the right perspective and some practical adjustments, any space can become a place of safety, comfort, and belonging.


References

  • Atlas Home Safety. (n.d.). Threshold ramps. Retrieved January 10, 2025, from https://www.atlashomesafety.com/ramps/threshold-ramps/
  • Campani, D., Caristia, S., Amariglio, A., Piscone, S., Ferrara, L. I., Barisone, M., Bortoluzzi, S., Faggiano, F., & Dal Molin, A.; IPEST Working Group. (2021). Home and environmental hazards modification for fall prevention among the elderly. Public Health Nursing, 38(3), 493–501. https://doi.org/10.1111/phn.12852
  • Cho, H., MacLachlan, M., Clarke, M., & Mannan, H. (2016). Accessible home environments for people with functional limitations: A systematic review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 13(8), 826–848. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph13080826
  • Louin, M., Adema, W., Fron, P., & Roth, P. (2021). A crisis on the horizon: Ensuring affordable, accessible housing for people with disabilities. Geneva: Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development.
  • Imrie, R. (2018). Accessible housing: Quality, disability, and design. Routledge.
  • Ratnayake, M., Lukas, S., Brathwaite, S., Neave, J., & Henry, H. (2022). Aging in place: Are we prepared? Delaware Journal of Public Health, 8(3), 28–31. https://doi.org/10.32481/djph.2022.08.007
  • Steinfeld, E., & Maisel, J. (2012). Universal design: Creating inclusive environments. Wiley.
  • United Nations. (2018). Realization of the sustainable development goals by, for and with persons with disabilities: United Nations flagship report on disability and development. United Nations.

One Foot at a Time: The Story of Mismatched Shoes


I was dressed and ready—hair styled, outfit chosen—yet there I was, stuck on something deceptively small: putting on my shoes. For most people, it is a forgettable step in their morning routine. For me, it is often a negotiation—sometimes a battle—with my own body.

Swelling, spasticity, rigidity—these aren’t just words; they are realities that turn ordinary tasks into moments of persistence. Some days, my foot takes on a life of its own, swelling to twice its usual size. On those days, shoes are less about style and more about strategy.

Swelling, in this context, is more than temporary puffiness. It signals underlying issues: water retention, immobility in the joint between the foot and ankle, or dietary factors. That joint—the talocrural joint, where the foot meets the ankle—is what allows smooth movement. For me, it often feels locked, immobile despite my best efforts.

Spasticity, the tightening of muscles, adds another layer of complexity. My leg is uncooperative, refusing to bend or move the way I need it to. Rigidity only compounds the challenge, making my body feel like it is working against itself. These are the realities of life with cerebral palsy, where even the simplest actions—like slipping on a shoe—become moments that demand creativity and patience.

The Battle of the Shoe

For me, putting on a pair of shoes isn’t just a task—it is a process. It starts with pulling my leg up to my knee using my hands, a motion that requires a great deal of upper body strength because my leg resists bending. Spasticity pulls back, as if my muscles have their own agenda. Some days, the resistance is so strong that I lose my grip and have to start over.

To make things a little easier, I rely on tools like a weight band. A rubber weight band is a thick, sturdy resistance band that forms a continuous loop, designed to provide adjustable resistance during strength training, stretching, and rehabilitation exercises. Its smooth, durable rubber surface allows for flexibility and comfort, while its resistance allows me to pull my leg up to my knee.

Wrapping it around my foot and leg, I can pull my foot closer while keeping my other hand free to slide the shoe into place. It’s a process that works—most of the time. On particularly difficult days, it can take multiple attempts before I get the shoe on.

When nothing works, I simply do what I need to do. Sometimes, that means walking outside with one shoe on and one off, heading to a waiting car where a friend helps me finish the task. In their hands, it takes seconds—a reminder that even when I adapt, it’s okay to ask for help.

Mismatched Shoes: Adaptation in Action

As I approach 50, swelling has become a more frequent occurrence. The reasons vary—diet, water retention, and the stubborn immobility of that talocrural joint. The result is always the same: shoes that no longer fit the way they should.

On days when one foot swells beyond recognition, I rely on mismatched shoes. One shoe fits my typical-sized foot, while the other is larger or looser to accommodate the foot that needs more space. It’s not the perfect solution, but it works. People notice, of course. Sometimes they ask, “How do you manage?” My answer is simple: I adapt.

Adapting often involves waiting for the spasticity and rigidity to subside, allowing my body to find its rhythm. It might mean using a weight band or repeating an action until the shoe finally fits. At times, it simply means accepting that mismatched shoes are the best option for the day.

One Step at a Time

Mismatched shoes have become more than a practical solution; they reflect how I navigate the world. They symbolize problem-solving and the willingness to meet my body where it is, not where I wish it could be.

They carry a simple truth: what works may not always be perfect, and that’s okay—it is progress. Life isn’t about perfect steps; it is about taking the next one, whatever it looks like.

Next time you notice mismatched shoes, consider that they might not be a mistake. Sometimes, they are part of adapting to life’s challenges. For me, they serve as a reminder that progress doesn’t need to be flawless—it just needs to keep moving forward. Mismatched shoes prove that things don’t always need to align, as long as the next step is taken.

What Comes Next: Finding Purpose in the Everyday


The alarm buzzed at 7:00 AM, pulling me from sleep. I stretched, feeling the cool hardwood floor beneath my feet as I rose. In the kitchen, the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted me—a small yet familiar reminder that another day had begun. It was the start of a new year, marked by familiar routines, but something within me felt different.

As the New Year unfolded, it started like any other day—marked by familiar routines and quiet rhythms. At first glance, nothing seemed different. Yet beneath the surface, I felt a quiet shift, a nudge urging me to pause, reflect, and ask myself: What’s next?

In the days leading up to the New Year, a question lingered in my mind: How can I make room for what truly matters?

The shift I felt wasn’t bold or dramatic. It was subtle, like the stillness that follows a passing storm. Rather than chasing grand resolutions, I chose to focus on small, meaningful changes.

Clearing Space

As 2024 came to an end, I found myself reflecting on various moments. It had been a year of contrasts: ordinary days that blurred together, punctuated by vivid, fleeting memories.

Some of those moments brought unexpected joy. A shared laugh that lightened the weight of a difficult week. The quiet satisfaction of finishing something I had been putting off also brought a sense of fulfillment. Others were simple, routine actions—steady tasks that kept life moving forward.

Take, for example, the pile of unopened mail that sat untouched on my kitchen counter for weeks. It wasn’t anything significant—just bills, flyers, and a few random notes. Yet, every time I walked past it, I felt a tiny weight of stress. “I really need to deal with that,” I’d think, over and over.

One evening, I finally sat down and sorted through the pile. I recycled the flyers, filed the important papers, and discarded the rest. When I finished, the counter was clear for the first time in weeks. It only took 15 minutes, but the relief was immediate.

That small act reminded me of something important: Meaning isn’t always found in dramatic actions. It is often in the simple things—clearing a cluttered space, finishing a task, or pausing for a breath. These small steps bring a lasting sense of calm and purpose.

Setting Intentions

As 2025 begins, I am carrying these small lessons with me. Like clearing a cluttered space or finally finishing a task, focusing on simplicity feels right for this year.

It is about letting go of the noise and focusing on what matters most—ease, connection, and fulfillment. My goal is to invest more energy in relationships that bring joy and let go of those that no longer fit. In doing so, I am making room for the kind of growth that feels real.

This year, I am prioritizing what nourishes me—whether it is reading a good book, taking a walk, or diving into that creative project I’ve been putting off. Embracing these simple activities allows me to focus less on perfection and more on the process, creating space for growth and connection.

There is something beautiful in the simple moments: folding the last load of laundry, organizing a shelf, or sending a handwritten note. These small acts bring a steady sense of fulfillment, like a solid foundation beneath me. Instead of chasing bold resolutions or sweeping changes, I am focusing on the small, intentional choices that matter most.

By making space for what truly nourishes me—whether it’s engaging in a creative activity, connecting with others, or taking a moment to relax—I have found that these small, intentional choices have the greatest impact. They may not seem significant in the moment, but over time, they accumulate in unexpected ways, fostering a lasting sense of fulfillment.

This year, I am shifting my focus away from bold resolutions and embracing the quiet opportunities that come my way. Here’s to making each small step count, finding meaning in the quiet moments, and embracing the power of simplicity.

Mirrors in the Mundane


Life often follows familiar patterns: keys dropped on the counter, shoelaces tugged tight, coffee poured and left to cool. Small rituals shape the day, predictable and automatic. Then, something shifts.

It is not dramatic—just a subtle change, like stepping onto uneven ground. The shoelace remains untied. The coffee sits untouched. Nothing appears wrong, but something feels different. A quiet unease settles in: pay attention.

Most days, the unease fades. It gets buried under distractions and tasks. But sometimes, it lingers. When it does, questions begin to surface: Does this matter? Is this enough?

These questions aren’t obvious, but they linger. They quietly disrupt the rhythm, revealing cracks in routines that once felt unshakable. The usual response is to push them away. A task, a notification, or some distraction often fills the silence.

When nothing works to drown them out, the stillness takes hold. It brings buried doubts and forgotten memories into focus—uncomfortable truths that have remained hidden for far too long.

It often starts with work—not just how it’s done, but whether it holds any meaning. Milestones that once inspired urgency may now seem empty, their purpose eroded. Effort begins to feel disconnected from the reward, as if the balance has shifted. The cycle itself starts to resemble motion for its own sake, leaving behind only exhaustion in place of fulfillment. Awareness offers no immediate answers. It simply asks: Is this what matters?

From here, the questions get harder. Beneath the packed schedules and endless tasks, something becomes clear: stopping doesn’t help. Even with a break, the fatigue lingers. Yet the drive to keep going remains, fueled by something unspoken. The discomfort doesn’t demand resolution. It waits to be noticed.

Questions don’t stay confined to work. They seep into other areas, especially relationships. Some connections remain steady, like an effortless conversation. Others strain. Obligations pile up, pulling people apart. Silences stretch long, heavy with unspoken words. Cracks become hard to ignore. Once unshakable connections now feel delicate, bearing too much weight.

Clarity doesn’t force decisions or solutions. It means seeing things as they are, like noticing a forgotten receipt in a cluttered drawer. Patterns become clearer. Goals once chased with urgency now feel mismatched, like shoes that no longer fit. Dreams aren’t gone—they are paused, waiting for the right moment. This isn’t failure. It is life reshaping itself. Clarity offers a chance to let go of what doesn’t fit and hold onto what still does.

Awareness doesn’t clean up the mess or eliminate discomfort. It creates space to uncover what is hidden beneath the noise—the imperfections, the beauty, the weight of it all. A forgotten receipt becomes a moment to reflect, not ignore.

Together, clarity and awareness guide us forward. A forgotten receipt, an untied shoelace—small disruptions that seem inconsequential—can reveal what’s been overlooked. These moments hold the power to refocus attention, allowing meaningful change to take shape. In this space, letting go becomes intentional, and holding on feels deliberate. Life isn’t waiting to be perfected—it is asking to be noticed.

These subtle shifts interrupt the predictable, inviting reflection. Recognizing them transforms routine into revelation, turning ordinary moments into opportunities for growth. The forgotten receipt isn’t just clutter—it is a reminder to pause, to reevaluate, and to choose presence over perfection.

Moving with the Pull: Understanding Spastic Cerebral Palsy


As a child, I was fascinated by rubber bands—the way they could stretch, snap, and return to their original shape. Over time, they became more than just objects of curiosity; they offered a powerful metaphor for understanding my experience with Spastic Cerebral Palsy.

For years, doctors used the rubber band analogy to help me make sense of my condition.

“Think of your muscles like a rubber band,” they would say. “When you pull on it, it stretches.” My muscles function in much the same way—they tighten with certain movements. However, unlike a rubber band that easily snaps back into place, my muscles don’t always relax. Sometimes they remain tense, refusing to let go. Other times, they lock up completely, without warning or clear reason.

This phenomenon, called spasticity, occurs when the signals between the brain, spinal cord, and muscles become scrambled. These misfires create stiffness and involuntary contractions, producing a tension that’s difficult to describe. While the rubber band comparison offers a useful glimpse into my condition, it oversimplifies something far more intricate.

Understanding Spasticity

Spasticity happens when muscles receive conflicting signals from the nervous system. Imagine trying to open a sliding door while someone else is simultaneously pushing it shut. The result isn’t movement—it is resistance. That is how my muscles feel when spasticity sets in: caught between the urge to contract and the need to release, leaving me stuck in between.

For me, this tightness is like trudging through thick mud—every movement, no matter how small, requires significantly more effort than it seems. It is not fleeting; it is a constant force that shapes every step I take.

According to the Mayo Clinic (2023), spasticity occurs when disrupted communication between the brain, spinal cord, and muscles causes stiffness, spasms, and fatigue. These symptoms make everyday activities—walking, sitting, even sleeping—more challenging. Yet, this clinical definition only scratches the surface; additional factors can amplify its effects.

Stress: The Invisible Amplifier

Stress operates like an invisible magnifier, intensifying the impact of spasticity. It is not just mental strain—it’s physical. For muscles already impacted by rigidity, stress is like pulling an already stretched rubber band even tighter.

When I’m stressed, my legs stiffen, and walking loses its natural rhythm. Every step feels mechanical, requiring more effort. Stress compounds the stiffness of spasticity, making movement harder. As the Mayo Clinic notes, stress can exacerbate muscle tightness and reduce the energy available for mobility (Mayo Clinic, 2023).

Stress can sometimes be obvious, like the pressure of a deadline or the buzz of a crowded room. Other times, it’s quieter, like an unresolved worry. Regardless of the form it takes, the outcome is the same: mental tension manifests as physical strain—a heaviness in my calves and a tightness that’s impossible to ignore.

Recognizing Limits

These moments of stiffness and rigidity remind me that I might be pushing myself too hard. Ignoring these signals doesn’t make them go away; it only increases the strain. Research shows that stress and overexertion can worsen muscle tension, creating a feedback loop. In this cycle, increased muscle tension leads to more stress, which then amplifies the tension further. Over time, this pattern becomes progressively harder to break (PubMed, 2013).

This cycle mirrors how rubber bands function, revealing a simple truth: everything has limits. Stretch a rubber band too far, and it won’t snap back—it will break. Spasticity works the same way. Pushing harder doesn’t ease the tension; it only increases it. Sometimes the result is subtle—a dull ache that lingers. Other times, it stops me mid-movement, forcing me to pause.

Respecting Limits

Over time, I’ve learned to honor my limits. For years, I saw resting as a weakness, believing that resilience meant pushing through challenges no matter what. However, resilience in this context, isn’t about relentless perseverance—it is about adapting to challenges while respecting your body’s boundaries. Slowly, I began to view those signals not as setbacks, but as my body’s way of offering guidance.

When the body signals it’s had enough, it’s not just a suggestion—it’s a clear message. Resting isn’t about giving up; it is about preventing further strain. The Mayo Clinic emphasizes that pacing and rest are not indulgences but essential strategies for managing conditions like spasticity (Mayo Clinic, 2023).

Moving with the Pull

Living with spasticity is like working with a rubber band stretched to its limits. Over time, I have learned that resilience doesn’t come from fighting the tension but from moving with it. Each movement requires attention—not just to how far I can go, but when to pause and let my body reset.

Like the rubber bands I admired as a child, my muscles have their own boundaries. Resilience in this context is not about pushing past those limits; it’s about adapting within them.

By honoring these boundaries, I have come to see that resilience isn’t about how far I can push—it’s about recognizing when to pause and adapt. This perspective extends beyond spasticity. We all encounter limits, whether they stem from our bodies, thoughts, or feelings. Stepping back is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of strength. It is how we sustain balance, conserve energy, and move forward with intention and grace.


References

Ember and Thunder: A Conversation About Change


Change often arrives unexpectedly. It alters familiar landscapes in ways both subtle and seismic: moving to a new city, starting an unfamiliar job, watching a relationship unravel, or facing the challenges of living with a disability. These moments force a confrontation with the unknown. The ground shifts beneath what once felt steady, leaving us to ask: how do we rebuild?

When the familiar begins to slip away, transitions can feel relentless. Ember and Thunder captures this space and the forces which reflect the messy, transformative nature of change.


The Poem—Ember and Thunder
By Kerry A. Wiley

Whispers faster than shadows fleeing the light,
Fire meets thunder in a silent fray,
Heat ascends where shadows play.

Temperature climbs in the heart’s hidden space,
Flames flicker beneath a veiled embrace.
Only rain can soothe the searing night,
Cooling fires in the absence of light.

Silent sparks clash with echoes in the night,
Rising flames entwine with fleeting light.
Only rain can mute the fervent cry,
Quenching fires where whispered secrets lie.

A restless pulse beneath the stillness breaks,
Swift as whispers carried by storm-wracked winds.
Flames clash with thunder’s jagged roar,
Heat sears the air where shadows twist.

Blaze consumes the silent night,
Lightning’s bite ignites the darkened sky.
Only rain can quell the fervent blaze,
Drenching fires where secrets lie concealed.


Examining the Tension

Ember and Thunder illustrates the contrasts of change: fire and thunder, light and shadow, destruction and renewal. These forces are not merely external; they reflect the inner storms that shape and unsettle us during transitions and transformations.

Fire rages, consuming what once felt familiar, while thunder reverberates unpredictably, a reminder of the chaos that change can and often brings. Rain, meanwhile, arrives not as a solution but as a force cooling the intensity without undoing its impact.

The fleeting sparks and echoes throughout the poem represent brief moments of insight. These flashes of understanding come and go quickly, often leaving us with more questions than answers. The fading light suggests clarity that slips through our fingers, challenging us to make sense of the transitions and feelings of chaos even as it unfolds.

Transformation is not a simple process. It is not linear either. Instead, it is a collision of elements—fiery destruction, rumbling chaos, and renewal. These elements shift and reshape everything in their wake. The poem lingers in this discomfort. It asks readers to reflect on how change unsettles them. Ultimately, change reshapes them.


A Silent Clash

“Whispers faster than shadows fleeing the light,
Fire meets thunder in a silent fray.”

The opening lines suggest an understated confrontation. Fire and thunder, two intense and opposing forces, collide with quiet but undeniable tension. This mirrors the way many transitions begin—subtle at first, simmering just beneath the surface. Slowly, the growing instability begins to unsettle what once felt stable and secure.

This clash reflects the beginning of transformation, where the first tremors signal that something is shifting. Have you ever felt that moment, when the familiar begins to fray and you sense the storm building, even before it breaks?


The Hidden Fire

“Temperature climbs in the heart’s hidden space,
Flames flicker beneath a veiled embrace.”

The poem turns inward, exploring the private intensity of change. Here, fire becomes a dual symbol—not just of destruction, but of the hidden heat of transformation, simmering beneath the surface, yet unseen.

The “veiled embrace” suggests tension within relationships, self-perception, or even the expectations we hold of the world. It raises the question: What happens when the things meant to comfort us instead heighten our discomfort?

The hidden nature of this fire raises a question: how much of our struggle burns unseen, even to ourselves? And when that fire can no longer be contained, how does it reshape what remains?


Sparks and Echoes

“Silent sparks clash with echoes in the night,
Rising flames entwine with fleeting light.”

This stanza conveys a sense of unrest. Sparks and echoes suggest brief moments of understanding, appearing for an instant and possibly slipping away. The imagery reflects how clarity can emerge during turmoil, though its fleeting nature makes it uncertain and difficult to hold onto.

The passage uses sparks and echoes as metaphors for insights or realizations that surface in chaotic or challenging times. These moments of clarity feel vivid yet fragile, offering the possibility of lasting insight but just as easily fading before they can be fully understood.

Do these moments show a way forward, or are they just pieces of a larger storm, hinting at meaning but never fully forming? In the chaos of change, we’re left unsure whether to hold onto these insights or let them fade.

This uncertainty mirrors the tension in the poem’s next lines, where restlessness and upheaval take center stage.


A Restless Pulse

“A restless pulse beneath the stillness breaks,
Flames clash with thunder’s jagged roar.”

Beneath the surface, tension builds until it bursts. This breaking point is raw and inevitable. Fire and thunder, once restrained, collide with full force. What does this moment reveal? Is it simply destruction, or does it clear space for something new to emerge? Perhaps the answer lies not in resolution but in the act of enduring the storm itself.


Rain and Its Quiet Work

“Only rain can quell the fervent blaze,
Drenching fires where secrets lie concealed.”

Rain arrives, soothing the blaze without removing its mark. The secrets remain, no longer fueling the flames but still present, reshaped by the quiet work of cooling and renewal. Rain doesn’t erase the damage; it creates space for reflection and healing to begin.

Have you ever experienced this kind of quiet reprieve? The storm passes, but its marks linger, leaving you to decide what to nurture in the stillness it leaves behind.


Sitting in the Storm

The forces in Ember and Thunder—fire, thunder, rain—remind us that transitions rarely bring resolution. We are asked to stay with the uncertainty, to remain in the fire and thunder until the rain arrives. Even then, when the storm passes, we are left to ask: what will fill the spaces the fire has cleared?

Ultimately, Ember and Thunder resists easy answers. It reflects the complex, often uncomfortable experience of change—not as something to solve but as something to move through.

Transformation is not about finding neat solutions—it is about navigating the shifting ground, letting the fire burn, the thunder crash, and the rain cool. True change is not found in what is settled, but in our ability to withstand the storm and rebuild from its wake.

Dark Slips In: When Grief Whispers


What does grief sound like in the stillness of dawn? In the quiet spaces of a room once filled with laughter, it lingers—a presence unspoken but deeply felt. Grief doesn’t announce itself; it slips quietly into daily life, shaping emotions and actions with a force both subtle and profound. These unguarded moments—a creak of the bed, the curve of a sheet—become vivid reminders of what’s missing. This is where Dark Slips In” finds its resonance.

The poem doesn’t just observe grief; it embodies it. It unravels how loss weaves into the fabric of existence, reflecting not dramatic sorrow but the quiet persistence of absence. With vivid imagery and restrained emotion, Dark Slips In captures the intangible ways grief shapes us.


The Poem: “Dark Slips In”

By Kerry A. Wiley

Dark slips in, unspoken,
limbs folding, sheets gathering their creases.
A trace of touch lingers—
not sharp, not whole,
just the ache of what once was.

The bed sags,
its corners loosening,
threadbare from the slow pull of motion.
A weight rests low in the chest,
not pressing, but present—
a shadow that hums without sound.

Memory drifts upward,
soft as fog,
its shape shifting before it settles.
Edges blur in the stillness,
but the ache remains,
a murmur that deepens with the dark.

And yet, beneath it all,
a stirring—
a rhythm.
Not escape,
but the quiet refusal to disappear.


A Subtle Weaving of Loss

At its heart,”Dark Slips In is not about dramatic expressions of grief but its quiet endurance. Loss doesn’t erupt like a storm; it seeps in, settling into the folds of sheets, the creak of a bed, or the weight in one’s chest. These details evoke the slow, steady rhythm of grief as it becomes part of daily life.

The opening line—“Dark slips in, unspoken”—sets the tone. There is no loud declaration, only an intimate recognition of grief’s silent arrival. The imagery of “limbs folding” and “sheets gathering their creases” mirrors the natural, almost involuntary process of living with loss.

These moments invite readers to linger, to notice how absence leaves its subtle mark. As the poem unfolds, its rhythm reflects grief’s presence—constant and unhurried. The sagging bed and threadbare corners evoke the weariness of loss, while the “shadow that hums without sound” captures grief’s paradoxical nature: both heavy and intangible, palpable yet elusive.

Memory as Fog: A Shifting Ache

One of the poem’s most evocative moments is the metaphor of memory as “soft as fog.” Like fog, memory drifts, blurring edges and softening contours. Memories seldom emerge with sharp clarity—they shift, settle, and fade, their outlines blurred by time. Yet even softened, they carry the ache of absence.

This portrayal of memory moves beyond nostalgia, emphasizing its duality. While it may offer comfort, it also deepens the ache: “Edges blur in the stillness, but the ache remains.” Grief doesn’t resolve neatly; it coexists with memory, shaping the quiet moments of our lives.

A Quiet Resilience

The final stanza introduces a subtle yet profound shift: “And yet, beneath it all, a stirring—a rhythm.” This rhythm is not about triumph or healing but about the quiet, unyielding persistence that allows one to move forward. It’s not an escape from grief but a defiant refusal to disappear—a reminder of life’s insistence on continuing, even in the shadow of loss.

These lines suggest that grief, though heavy and enduring, coexists with movement—not dramatic, but steady like a heartbeat. The poem mirrors this rhythm, offering a poignant truth: grief doesn’t erase life; it becomes a part of it. It is not victory over sorrow but the steady pulse of existence within it—a heartbeat refusing to stop.

A Space for Stillness

In “Dark Slips In”, the lines and imagery carve out a space to confront grief head-on, refusing to soften its edges or compress it into resolution. There’s no pretense of mending the loss or containing it within neat borders. Instead, the poem invites readers to linger in the quiet, unyielding presence of absence.

Anchored in the tangible—creases in sheets, the hum of a shadow—the poem offers a deeply human perspective on grief. Its focus on the small, persistent moments captures what many experience but struggle to express: grief is not a single event but a way of being, a steady rhythm that permeates and reshapes everyday life.

Conclusion: Grief’s Presence

“Dark Slips In” does not seek to explain grief or resolve it. Instead, it offers a quiet space to inhabit its weight and texture, honoring absence without rushing to fill it. Here, “weight” refers to grief’s persistent, heavy presence, while “texture” captures its nuanced, tangible details—the creases in sheets, the hum of a shadow—that make it feel real and inescapable.

The poem transforms grief from an abstract concept into a lived experience. It lingers in the folds of sheets, the weight of memory, and the unspoken hum of absence. These small, persistent details remind us that grief is not an event to be marked and moved past but a rhythm that shapes how life continues.

In its final lines, the poem gestures toward resilience, not as triumph but as the quiet persistence of life. It acknowledges the paradox of grief: its presence heavy yet intangible, its ache sharp yet softened over time. This is not a story of healing but of coexistence, where loss and life move forward together. “Dark Slips In” reminds us that grief doesn’t end. It lingers, shifts, and settles—unspoken but always present—yet life continues, shaped by its presence.

When the Ice Bends: On Fragility and Strength


Resilience and fragility are not opposites but partners—both essential in navigating the complexities of life and relationships. They form a dynamic tension, revealing strength through moments of adaptation and vulnerability.

In The People Factor, I explored how lives intersect, how growth blends with the complexities of mutual dependence. Relationships, like many aspects of life, are shaped by moments of expansion and by the challenges they face. They adapt, stretch, and grow over time, reflecting how living things respond to pressure and change.

This theme resurfaced in a recent poem, Winter Drapes Itself in Glass. At first glance, the poem captures winter’s severity. However, beneath its starkness lies something deeper: the weight of time, memory, and the bonds that shift, strain, and persist. Both the poem and earlier reflections ask what it means to carry the marks left by connection, to hold the balance between bending and breaking.


Winter Drapes Itself in Glass

By Kerry A. Wiley

Winter drapes itself in glass—
a world caught mid-collapse.
Trees wear brittle skins,
their branches laced with silver,
but still they bow, heavy with the burden.

Underfoot, the ice groans,
a warning, or perhaps a dare.
Stepping forward,
a shadow trailing like a thread.
A treacherous promise
that ends in the crack of bone.

Falling slow—
a quiet rebellion against time.
The air, cold and sharp,
clings like regret.
A lover’s cruel embrace.

Winter is unyielding—
it swallows the sound,
leaves only silence.

The ice does not weep.
Winter holds bone and frost entwined,
both aching under the weight
of things that cannot be undone.


Fragility in Stillness

The poem captures the tension between stillness and fragility. Trees, cloaked in brittle skins, carry the weight of silvered ice, bowing but not breaking. This image holds a certain grace—a quiet strength—but also a reminder that everything has its limits.

Observing trees bending under ice offers insight into strength: not loud defiance, but the ability to adapt and absorb. True strength lies not in resistance, but in flexibility.

This dynamic mirrors the weight of relationships—the unspoken moments, shared histories, and silences that press quietly on the bonds we build. Trees wear their burdens openly, but people carry theirs in shadows, revealed only when tested.

Fragility isn’t a flaw—it’s the mark of connection. In bending, things find a way to survive. Perhaps that is resilience: the capacity to bend without breaking.


The Weight of What Remains

The groan of ice beneath each step speaks to inevitability. The crack of bone, the fall—it is already embedded in the moment. Some forces press forward, unrelenting: time, change, and loss.

Life’s challenges and transformations rarely arrive with grand fanfare; they emerge quietly, shaping everything over time. These shifts aren’t catastrophic but fundamental, leaving traces that become part of the whole.

The image of branches bending under ice illustrates this. The weight is not only of the present but also of past storms. The branches flex and adapt, holding what cannot be avoided. This quiet accumulation shapes and strengthens, not through resistance, but through adjustment.

This same truth exists in relationships. Each moment carries the history of what came before—the joys, misunderstandings, and silences. None of it disappears; it lingers as evidence of what remains. The weight of connection, even in its heaviest form, is a sign of persistence—bonds that hold, even under strain.


Reflection on Weight and Connection

The themes of Winter Drapes Itself in Glass—fragility and inevitability—echo the truths explored in The People Factor. Both works linger in the spaces between individuals, tracing the quiet strain of unspoken moments and the weight of what cannot be undone.

The trees in the poem bow under their burden, but in their bending, they catch the light. Similarly, human connections hold under strain, reshaping without breaking. The question isn’t how to avoid the weight but how it will transform what it touches.

What ties these reflections together is the idea that fragility is not weakness but a natural state—one that invites adaptation, connection, and growth. Whether it is branches bending under ice or relationships evolving under unseen pressures, the ability to stretch and shift is what allows things to last.

It is not the absence of strain that defines resilience, but how that strain is carried and reshapes what it touches. Fragility and inevitability aren’t problems to solve—they are conditions to live through. Both poems shift the focus from avoidance to persistence. Resilience lies in adapting to strain, in finding ways to bend and reshape.

The People Factor explored how lives intersect, leaving traces that shape us. Winter Drapes Itself in Glass continues this exploration, asking what it means to carry those marks—to hold the balance between fragility and strength.

How does the weight of what’s carried reshape what is left behind?

Moonlight And Shadows


A new job introduced unfamiliar systems, routines, and faces, each navigating the space with the fluid ease of someone who had long mastered the rhythm. Every hesitation—forgetting a name, pausing too long before asking a question—felt like a spotlight on my uncertainty, magnifying my every misstep and making them seem larger than they truly were.

By the end of the first day, the exhaustion had shifted from physical to mental—a quiet strain from over-analyzing every moment. The fluorescent lights buzzed above, the constant click of keyboards filled the air, and conversations drifted just beyond reach, their words faint and elusive. Each decision felt like a careful calculation, every action weighed with the knowledge that there was little room for error.

As I walked home, the streets felt different. The cracked sidewalks and jagged curbs stretched ahead, familiar yet subtly altered, as if the evening itself had shifted the air around me. The hum of distant cars, rustling leaves, and far-off voices blended into a low, unshakable murmur.

Yet, the evening eased the sharpness. The imperfections remained but no longer carried the same weight. They simply existed, no longer demanding attention. And from that shift, a poem began to take shape:

Moonlight And Shadows
By Kerry A. Wiley

The path softens where the silver lies,
A veil of quiet drawn across the skies.
Edges vanish, harshness wanes,
The night absolves what day explains.

A shadow leans, its meaning blurred,
A breath unspoken, yet deeply heard—
Does it cradle, or constrain?
Each curve a question, each line a chain.

The world demands what it can see,
But moonlight humors mystery.
A step that falters, a hand unsure,
Becomes a dance that shadows endure.

No voices here to carve a name,
No mirror bright to cast its blame.
The body bends, but so does light,
A quiet pact beneath the night.

In softness, strength begins to grow,
Not sharp, but steady, a gentle glow.
What lingers in the moon’s embrace
Is neither flaw nor need for grace.


The soft quiet of the evening didn’t erase the mistakes of the day. The cracks in the sidewalk and the pauses in conversation remained. What changed was how they felt—less glaring, more part of a larger whole. The day’s edges, so sharp in the light, no longer cut quite as deeply.

“The night absolves what day explains.”

Daylight sharpens everything, turning even the smallest flaw into something exposed. A hesitation, a pause, or a misstep under its glare feels monumental, leaving no space for imperfections to hide.

Evening brings a softening, where a misstep no longer feels like failure but becomes part of the rhythm—a quiet acceptance that growth involves learning, adjusting, and feeling along the way. When starting something new, like a job, everything feels uncertain at first. These feelings aren’t setbacks but part of the process of adapting to change.

“A step that falters, a hand unsure,
Becomes a dance that shadows endure.”

Shadows reflect the emotional landscape of uncertainty, offering a space where imperfection and ambiguity can simply exist. Unlike the harshness of daylight, which amplifies emotions and creates pressure to resolve or overcome them, shadows allow doubt, anxiety, and discomfort to linger without the need for immediate resolution or judgment.

Not every emotion needs fixing. Sometimes, feelings like frustration or confusion simply need time to exist. Whether it’s the awkwardness of learning a new task or the discomfort of adjusting to a new environment, these moments don’t need to be rushed or solved immediately. They are part of the experience.

Shadows, free from expectation, allow emotions and imperfections to remain. They remind us that it’s okay to feel uncertain, to be unfinished, and to exist in discomfort without rushing to change it.

Daylight demands clarity and resolution. Evening, on the other hand, creates space for emotions—whether anxiety, exhaustion, or frustration—to simply exist. In the quiet of night, these feelings can be experienced, free from the need to fix, escape, or understand them all at once.

“The body bends, but so does light,
A quiet pact beneath the night.”

Light bends and shifts, flowing around obstacles with ease. Similarly, moments of doubt, missteps, and pauses in confidence don’t stop progress—they reshape it, creating new paths and possibilities. Just as light adjusts its course without force, growth often comes through subtle shifts, not rigid direction.

This isn’t about ignoring flaws or pretending mistakes don’t exist. It’s about understanding that not everything needs immediate resolution. The calm of evening doesn’t erase what’s unfinished; it simply allows space for it.

“In softness, strength begins to grow,
Not sharp, but steady, a gentle glow.”

These lines capture the essence of resilience. Resilience is not loud or forceful; it is a quiet, steady process. Strength doesn’t always make a visible entrance. It appears in the moments where things don’t have to be perfect to keep moving forward.

In the stillness of evening, there’s no rush to fix what feels incomplete. The cracks in the sidewalk, the unfinished tasks, the lingering doubts—they don’t disappear, but they lose their sharpness. They no longer demand immediate attention, instead becoming parts of a larger whole that doesn’t need resolution right away.

Resilience isn’t about rushing to fix what’s undone. It is about giving things time to develop on their own. Strength isn’t forced. It is found in the quiet acceptance of what is and what isn’t.

On my first day, every mistake felt amplified, like a spotlight on my uncertainty. The unfamiliar systems, new faces, and small missteps made everything seem bigger than it was. By evening, the sharpness of the day began to ease. The forgotten names, the pauses in conversation—what once felt heavy—were simply part of the experience.

As the world’s sharpness fades, it becomes clear that these moments aren’t failures. They’re part of the process, finding their place. There’s value in what’s unfinished, grace in imperfection. These incomplete moments hold meaning.

Acceptance of things as they are brings clarity without needing immediate resolution—just a gentle recognition that every part, even those in progress, has its place.

Resilience isn’t about fixing everything right away; it’s about letting things unfold in their time. Growth isn’t perfection, but understanding that uncertainty and imperfection are necessary. In those still moments, it’s clear: strength comes from accepting things as they are, knowing that even the smallest step forward is progress.