Ashes to Stone: A Journey of Resilience and Reflection

Upside down, sideways,
Broken, broken images resurface.
The meaning is lost,
The longing gone.

I grew older,
The scars less fresh,
My heart hardened,
I thought the ash would turn to stone.

Happy images,
Torn and marred,
Fading into the past.

The poem “Ashes to Stone: A Journey of Resilience and Reflection” captures the essence of transitions, reflecting turbulence, growth, and hardening that can occur over time.

As women navigate different stages of life, these transitions can be influenced by various personal and societal factors. This piece explores these transitions, focusing on the experiences of women and women with disabilities.

Emerging Adulthood: Exploration and Instability

General Transitions

The initial stage of adulthood is often characterized by significant change and development. This period, sometimes known as emerging adulthood, involves transitions from education to employment, establishing independence, and forming intimate relationships. Many young women during this phase experience the challenges of higher education, entering the workforce, and navigating the complexities of new social roles.

According to Arnett’s (2000) theory of emerging adulthood, this stage is marked by exploration and instability as young adults experiment with different possibilities in love and work. This exploration can often come with emotional and psychological challenges, including stress, anxiety, and a sense of uncertainty about the future.

Women with Disabilities

For women with disabilities, the transition to adulthood can be even more complex. Women with disabilities often face additional barriers in education and employment due to various limitations, and societal prejudices. Research indicates that women with disabilities are less likely to pursue higher education and are more likely to experience unemployment or underemployment compared to women without disabilities (Lindsay, 2011).

Social stigma associated with disabilities can impact their ability to form relationships and establish independence. Despite these challenges, many women with disabilities find ways to navigate and overcome the barriers they encounter.

Establishing Stability: Career and Family Balance

General Transitions

The next significant phase often involves establishing stability in various aspects of life. This stage typically includes career advancement, marriage, and starting a family. Women in this phase often balance multiple roles as professionals, partners, and mothers, which can lead to significant stress and the need for effective time management and support systems.

Research by Stone and Lovejoy (2004) highlights the “second shift” phenomenon, where women, despite working full-time jobs, often take on the majority of household and childcare responsibilities. This burden can lead to burnout and affect mental health, necessitating strategies for work-life balance and support from partners and employers.

Women with Disabilities

For women with disabilities, establishing stability may involve additional considerations. Access to healthcare, assistive technologies, and supportive workplaces are critical for managing their disabilities while pursuing career and family goals. The intersectionality of gender and disability often results in unique challenges, such as the need for flexible work arrangements and accommodations during pregnancy and parenting (Iezzoni & O’Day, 2006).

Despite these challenges, many women with disabilities successfully establish fulfilling careers and families, often becoming advocates for better policies and practices that support their dual identities.

Reflection and Reinvention: Later Life Transitions

General Transitions

The transition to later life is often a period of reflection and reinvention. With children growing older and careers reaching a mature stage, women often reassess their life goals and personal identities. This stage can involve career changes, returning to education, or pursuing personal passions that were previously set aside.

Women may also face challenges associated with aging and changing family dynamics. This period is characterized by a desire for meaningful change and personal growth (Lachman & Weaver, 1998).

Women with Disabilities

For women with disabilities, aging can exacerbate existing health conditions and introduce new challenges. However, it can also be a time of empowerment as they leverage their life experiences to advocate for themselves and others. The resilience built over decades of navigating disability can serve as a foundation for continued growth and adaptation (Dunn & Burcaw, 2013).

Analysis of “Ashes to Stone” in the Context of Transition

The poem captures life’s transitions. Initially, lines like “Upside down, sideways, / Broken, broken images resurface,” depict the chaos of significant change. They reflect the tumult of emerging adulthood, where finding identity and stability can be overwhelming.

As the poem unfolds, “I grew older, / The scars less fresh, / My heart hardened, / I thought the ash would turn to stone,” signals a shift towards resilience. This transformation mirrors the phase of establishing stability, where individuals, especially women, navigate through substantial stress and adversity, emerging fortified and more determined. The imagery of ash morphing into stone symbolizes the process of turning pain and uncertainty into inner strength and endurance.

Lastly, “Happy images, / Torn and marred, / Fading into the past,” encapsulates the reflective essence of later life transitions. Here, the past is examined through a lens of both nostalgia and acceptance, recognizing the enduring impact of past experiences while embracing the potential of new beginnings.

Conclusion

Life transitions for women, particularly those with disabilities, are marked by a complex interplay of challenges and resilience. From emerging adulthood to later life, women navigate educational, professional, and personal changes that shape their identities and futures.

The poem “Ashes to Stone: A Journey of Resilience and Reflection” encapsulates the essence of life’s transitions, illustrating the transformation from vulnerability to strength. Focusing on the distinct experiences of women during these stages can enhance support for their growth and contributions.

References

• Arnett, J. J. (2000). Emerging adulthood: A theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469-480. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.5.469
• Dunn, D. S., & Burcaw, S. (2013). Disability identity: Exploring narrative accounts of disability. Rehabilitation Psychology, 58(2), 148-157. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0031691
• Iezzoni, L. I., & O’Day, B. L. (2006). More than ramps: A guide to improving health care quality and access for people with disabilities. Oxford University Press.
• Lachman, M. E., & Weaver, S. L. (1998). The sense of control as a moderator of social class differences in health and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(3), 763-773. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.3.763
• Lindsay, S. (2011). Discrimination and other barriers to employment for teens and young adults with disabilities. Disability and Rehabilitation, 33(15-16), 1340-1350. https://doi.org/10.3109/09638288.2010.531372
• Stone, P., & Lovejoy, M. (2004). Fast-track women and the “choice” to stay home. The Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science, 596(1), 62-83. https://doi.org/10.1177/0002716204268552