Sophia’s Seat: Lessons on Belonging, Bullying, and Change

Sophia watches as groups form. Chairs scrape, voices rise. She lingers, waiting for an opening that never comes. Chairs pull close. Voices drop and heads lean in. Plans form in whispers. She is not invited to join.

When the teacher asks the class to find partners for the next project, Sophia takes a breath and walks toward the group she has tried to join before.

One student glances at her and says, “We already have enough people.” Another mutters, “It’s just easier when we stick together.” A third laughs quietly and looks away. Sophia hesitates, then turns back to her desk. The group’s conversation resumes without her.

It is the third time this month. Each time, the same pattern unfolds: rejection, whispered comments that sting, and uneasy glances that follow. Sophia walks back to her seat, her face warm with embarrassment. She opens her notebook and writes a few lines she does not finish.

A few minutes later, the teacher looks up from her desk and notices Sophia sitting alone. “Sophia, do you have a group yet?” she asks. The room is quiet. The teacher pauses, scanning the room, realizing what has happened. “Alright,” she says, “we’ll find a group for you.” But the moment has passed. The laughter has faded, and Sophia’s shoulders are already hunched over her notebook.

Each time, it is the same pattern—unspoken, consistent, and isolating. It reminds her she does not belong. Sophia’s story reflects a form of bullying often overlooked.

Sophia’s experience illustrates a broader reality for many students with disabilities—one that data confirms and educators must address.

Bullying Often Begins Quietly

Bullying may initially surface as being left out of group activities, as jokes that mask ridicule, or as the intentional disregard of someone’s presence. For many students with disabilities, these behaviors become part of their everyday experience. Each moment sends the same message: difference is noticed, and it is not accepted.

Bullying continues to be a significant and widespread issue throughout the United States. Despite federal protections, school-based interventions, and public awareness campaigns, students with disabilities continue to be disproportionately affected. This reality reflects not only individual behaviors but also broader systemic challenges in fostering environments where disability is acknowledged as a valued dimension of student identity and inclusion is a shared responsibility.

What Bullying Really Is

Bullying is repeated behavior that causes harm, embarrassment, or exclusion. It happens when someone consistently acts in ways that single out or demean another person. These actions may be direct, such as teasing or name-calling, or indirect, such as exclusion or silence (CDC, 2024a).

Bullying is not the same as conflict. Conflict can be resolved. Bullying persists and sends a message that a person is not valued or accepted. Over time, it changes how someone participates, interacts, and experiences school (APA, n.d.).

When bullying targets a student because of disability, it reinforces negative stereotypes and communicates that difference is unwelcome. These experiences shape how students engage with learning and with others.

What the Numbers Show

A review of data from 2021 to 2025 reveals a consistent and troubling pattern: bullying remains widespread, and students with disabilities experience it more frequently and with more serious effects than their peers.

In 2021, the Youth Risk Behavior Survey reported that 15% of high school students were bullied at school and 16% experienced cyberbullying (CDC, 2023). In 2022, 19% of students ages 12 to 18 said they had been bullied, with 22% reporting electronic forms such as social media (NCES, 2024). By 2023, bullying rates increased again, with 19% of students reporting in-school bullying (CDC, 2024b). Research during this period continued to show a strong association between peer victimization and symptoms of anxiety and depression (Ye et al., 2023).

In 2024, the National Center for Health Statistics reported that 34% of U.S. teenagers experienced bullying within the past year. The rates were significantly higher among adolescents with developmental disabilities, 44% of whom reported being bullied, compared with 31% of their peers without developmental disabilities (Haile et al., 2024). This 13-point gap indicates that bullying is more common among youth with developmental and other disabilities and illustrates a clear disparity in bullying experiences between adolescents with and without developmental disabilities.

The study also found a strong link between bullying and mental health, identifying it as both a social issue and a public health concern. As a public health concern, bullying extends beyond individual experiences to affect the health of entire communities. It contributes to higher rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and school avoidance, which place greater demands on mental health services and education systems.

These figures are more than just statistics; they reflect real experiences of exclusion and emotional distress that can shape how adolescents understand their feelings, manage emotions, build confidence, and form relationships. A supportive environment helps them express emotions in healthy ways and cope with challenges, while bullying can lead to anxiety, loss of confidence, and withdrawal from others, affecting learning and social growth.

Other research supports these findings. Studies show that children and teens with disabilities are two to three times more likely to experience bullying than their peers without disabilities (PACER Center, 2024). In 2025, findings from several national studies confirm that disability-based bullying remains a structural issue, meaning it is shaped and reinforced by the way systems, policies, and cultural expectations function. Despite awareness campaigns and intervention efforts, disparities persist, showing that the problem arises not only from individual behavior but also from broader cultural patterns.

Bullying persists because misconceptions about disability remain common. Too often, disability is viewed in terms of limitation rather than contribution. Accommodations may be misinterpreted as unfair advantages, creating resentment or misunderstanding (Swearer et al., 2022).

Students with disabilities often have smaller social networks, making them more vulnerable to exclusion. Subtle forms of bullying, such as avoidance or dismissive comments, are harder to detect and often go unaddressed. When disability is left out of conversations about inclusion, biases remain unexamined.

The Broader Impact

The effects of bullying go far beyond the moment they happen. Research shows a clear link between bullying and increased anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, and lower engagement in school (APA, n.d.; Ye et al., 2023). Students who are excluded again and again may stop speaking up in class, avoid working with others, or shy away from using supports that make them stand out.

These effects often persist into adulthood. Research shows that adults with disabilities who experienced bullying in childhood report higher levels of emotional distress and face greater challenges in forming and maintaining relationships, which can significantly affect their overall well-being and ability to take part fully in daily activities (Christ et al., 2025).

Emotional distress refers to psychological suffering marked by strong negative emotions such as sadness, anxiety, or anger. It can make it difficult to think clearly, build healthy relationships, and manage daily responsibilities, and over time, it can impact both mental and physical health.

Bullying isn’t just a phase that passes. The effects of bullying last far beyond the moment it happens. It can alter how a person views themselves and relates to others, with consequences that can persist long after childhood.

What Schools Are Doing

Federal law requires schools to take action when bullying interferes with a student’s access to education. Under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act and the Americans with Disabilities Act, bullying based on disability is recognized as discrimination, and schools must respond (U.S. Department of Education, OCR, n.d.).

To meet these responsibilities, many schools use interventions that encourage empathy, set clear standards for behavior, and strengthen relationships. Examples include Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS), Social and Emotional Learning (SEL), and restorative practices.

Understanding PBIS and SEL

To effectively counter bullying, schools need more than rules; they need comprehensive frameworks that foster empathy and teach responsibility. Three evidence-based approaches stand out: Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS), Social and Emotional Learning (SEL), and restorative practices.

Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) is a proactive approach that encourages positive behavior by setting clear expectations, such as being respectful, responsible, and safe, and by teaching and reinforcing these behaviors consistently.

Positive behavior includes actions that help create a safe, respectful, and supportive learning environment. Examples include listening when others speak, using polite language, completing assignments on time, and following classroom rules. When students meet these expectations, schools acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their success. Over time, this approach builds a culture of safety, belonging, and mutual respect.

PBIS is implemented across three tiers of support:

  • For everyone: clear school-wide expectations and recognition
  • For some: targeted support for students who need additional guidance
  • For a few: individualized plans for students with greater behavioral challenges

Research shows PBIS can reduce disciplinary incidents, improve attendance, and strengthen school safety (Bradshaw et al., 2022; Freeman et al., 2016).

Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) helps students understand their feelings, manage emotions in healthy ways, build strong friendships, and make good choices. Lessons focus on empathy, self-awareness, and problem solving—skills essential for success in school, work, and life. SEL includes:

  • Classroom discussions about emotions and stress
  • Activities to build kindness and cooperation
  • Reflection exercises tied to academics
  • Daily routines that encourage connection

Research shows that Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) programs improve academic performance, increase engagement, and lower stress (Taylor et al., 2023; Durlak et al., 2011). Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) establishes clear expectations for behavior, while SEL provides the skills students need to meet them. Together, these approaches help reduce bullying and promote a culture of respect in schools.

Restorative Practices

Restorative practices offer a structured way to handle conflict or harm. Students and staff meet in a guided conversation to discuss the incident, understand its impact, and agree on steps to address the harm. This could include a direct apology, replacing damaged items, helping with a task, or participating in a follow-up conversation. The approach focuses on responsibility instead of punishment. In practice, restorative approaches may include:

  • Restorative circles: sharing perspectives and feelings about incidents
  • Mediated conversations: guided discussions to address harm and plan repair
  • Community agreements: shared expectations created by the group
  • Reflection activities: writing or discussion used to plan better choices

Research shows restorative practices can reduce repeated incidents of bullying, improve relationships, and strengthen a sense of safety and belonging (Gregory et al., 2016; Anyon et al., 2016).

What Change Looks Like

Before PBIS and SEL training, the teacher in Sophia’s class struggles to recognize the early signs of harm.

Sophia watches as groups form for a project. When she approaches a group she has tried to join before, someone says, “We already have enough people.” Another adds, “It’s easier when we stick together.” Quiet laughter follows.

Sophia returns to her seat, pretending to write as the class settles into work. The same pattern has played out with small comments, exclusion, and embarrassment. A few minutes later, the teacher notices she is alone, but the moment to prevent harm has already passed.

After SEL and restorative practices training, the teacher approaches the same situation differently. When another group project begins, she scans the room and sees Sophia waiting, notebook open. Nearby, a familiar group begins pulling chairs closer. Before the pattern can repeat, the teacher steps forward. “Before we start,” she says, “let’s take a moment to make sure everyone has a place. Working together means inviting in every voice.”

The room grows quiet. Students shift. The teacher turns to the group Sophia has been trying to join. “I see some space here. How can we make sure everyone feels included?”

A student nods. “She can work with us.”

“Thank you,” the teacher says. “Now, talk about how you will make space for each idea. That is part of the work too.”

Later, the teacher checks in with the group. “What was different about how we started today?” she asks. The students reflect on how it felt to notice, include, and listen. A simple shift, an early and intentional step, turns a moment of exclusion into a lesson in empathy and belonging.

By addressing the behavior as it happens, the teacher prevents harm and helps students practice inclusion in real time. These small, consistent actions model accountability and care—core elements of a safe and supportive learning environment.

A Path Forward

Through PBIS, schools reinforce positive behavior and set clear expectations. SEL equips students with emotional skills to manage conflict and show empathy. Restorative practices give educators structured ways to respond to harm, clarify expectations, and resolve conflict. These strategies establish clear standards for behavior and consistent responses to harm. They also improve how schools handle conflict and strengthen relationships between students and staff.

When students see difference respected, they are more likely to offer respect in return. Policies alone do not build culture; consistent acts of inclusion and understanding do. Meaningful change often begins quietly.

It may start when a teacher notices a student left out and invites her to join, or when a classmate offers a seat. These small gestures communicate value and belonging.

Sophia’s experience shows how bullying can appear through repeated exclusion, with comments that dismiss, laughter that isolates, and refusals that leave her standing apart. These actions are not harmless or coincidental; they send a message that she is unwelcome. For students with disabilities, this pattern is far too familiar, shaping how they see themselves and how others respond to them.

Though subtle in form, the impact is significant, undermining belonging, limiting participation, and eroding confidence. Recognizing this behavior as harmful is essential because acknowledgment is the first step toward accountability and change.

Addressing bullying requires more than awareness; it calls for consistent and intentional response. Schools that adopt frameworks such as PBIS, SEL, and restorative practices foster environments where respect is expected, empathy is taught, and exclusion is challenged.

These approaches help students understand the weight of their actions and equip educators to step in before harm grows. Lasting change emerges when inclusion becomes part of everyday practice, when each student has a place to participate and a reason to feel valued. In such classrooms, isolation gives way to belonging, and belonging becomes the standard rather than the exception.

References

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